I always seem to be in hot water with my daughter in law. I can’t seem to do anything right. Nevermind that my husband and I are always buying them things and babysitting at the drop of the hat, heck I even drove her to the hospital when she was in labor.
We were estranged once before and I don’t ever want to go through that again, which is why my husband and I are super sensitive to everyone’s moods.
When I asked my son what was going on this time, he replied that we didn’t do enough. Huh?
The only thing that I can think of is that since we spend 30 days at a time at our mountain vacation home during the winter months, maybe they don’t like us being gone for such long stretches? When we’re here we’re here 100% for them, at least it seems like it.
What more can we do?
Here’s the problem in a nutshell, “entitlement”. Our children are part of the “me” generation who believe everything revolves around them because we as parents gave them more than we had. In an effort to make their lives a little better we created selfish/entitled individuals.
There is no gratitude or even acknowledgement only expectations.
And it’s never enough. Our wants and needs do not count, and in many cases neither do the children’s. It’s all about them.
So what more can you do? Find a balance between time with them and time for yourself. Babysitting and financial assistance are great, but maybe some daughter-in-law time is what’s needed?
The “me” generation parents are often jealous of the grandparent-grandchild relationship. This goes both ways insecure about whether the grandparents love the kids more than them and insecure that the kids will love the grandparents more.
Just don’t always make it about the kids, be sure to schedule some one on one parent time, like a walking date or dinner without the kids.
It can be exhausting but worth the effort in order to keep the peace and remain connected to the grandkids.