By staying engaged with your grandchildren, you are not only taking care of your own needs but also theirs. While it's not always possible to be with them in person, there are ways to remain engaged simply by at the very least doing something. For example, sending cards for meaningful occasions. When a disenfranchised grandparent goes through the motions of selecting and sending a birthday card or holiday card for the grandchild, they are doing something for themselves by taking action, whether or not the child ever receives the card. If the child receives the card it's a demonstration to them that the grandparent hasn't forgotten them. If the parent intervenes and doesn't give the child the card, they know that grandma/grandpa isn't giving up. We have no control over the outcome once we send a gift or card to anyone for that matter.....so why not enjoy the feeling that the act of giving brings?